There’s an old saying that you can choose your friends and not your family. For people like me particularly, a network of close friends often provides a surrogate family, especially in the absence of surrounded by family support and events, as is most commonly the case for changing to a new country and start a new life. Our friends become the people we cling to in crises, either work or relationship-related. They are there for us to party with, to recover with, to celebrate with, and also to commiserate with. They are, clearly, the most important people in our lives. In good times and bad times, it’s more often than not our friends who are by our side, essentially becoming our true family.

Looking back to the past few years, I have made a lot of friends. Some friends are becoming closer and closer. Other friends, particularly those who I met on the party scene over the last few years, have eventually faded into the background, or I have distanced myself from some of them.

Life is full of opportunities, you will be surprised how many people we encounter in our life time, but we are still looking for the ultimate soul mate, who gives you the love and friendship unconditionally. It is very hard, not easier than finding a lifetime partner. When I look back, I had made so many friends in my life, mates from junior school, high school, university, through social work, through friends, through internet, through work, through parties. Amongst all of these friends, we are looking for some one who you know and also he knows you. They are the people I feel the most comfortable with. I can express myself without censorship. I can embrace my spontaneity and never have to hide how I am feeling, or pretend to be something I am not. This is like life partner, when I saw movie ‘JUNO’ the other day, the young girl Juno asks her dad: “what is true love, why can’t it last for ever?” His dad sighed and replied: “There is no such thing that last for ever. But I have been with you mum for many years, I believe she is the one. Juno, I think find someone who loves you as who you are, that is the most important thing.”

Exactly! Find some one who love and accept you as who you are. How hard is that! Every day, we hear friends complain about each other, have issues with this, have problems with that, we hear partners find they don't have things in common, they don't like each other as much as beginning any more etc. if you judge your friend or your partner from your point of view, no wonder that friendship or relationships won’t last long. Because you don't expect to find a person who matches your imagination, that person never exists. You are finding someone accept you, also you have the same in return. When you find it, you can call it life time companion or soul mate. This only happens a few times in a short life. We should cherish it.

Whilst many may understand exactly how it feels to experience the challenges that someone without fear of reprisal or retribution. They validate my right to be happy, sad, angry... whatever. They forgive me my shortcomings, and are there in a pinch whenever I need them. Luckily I have a very few of these soul mates, they are firing up my life and give me the support unconditionally.

Another group of friends are social groups. More than acquaintances, less than bosom buddies, we talk about everything under the sun on a superficial level. We share our hopes and fears, thoughts and feelings, dreams and ideals. And yet there is an enormous chunk of my life which I cannot bring myself to speak of openly with them. To my surprise and joy I am finding I have things in common with these people and we rarely lack for things to chat about. Yet there is awkwardness in my ability to interact with these lovely folk because I am not being completely open with them. But I enjoying having them. They are like the witness of your life especially in different time frames, it is more likely you have different group to hang out with. They come and go all the time. However, life will be so much more boring without these witnesses and also the opportunities they provide you.

The question some people ask me all the time is “Do these people really need to know?” Realistically, the answer is Of course you do!!! In the grand scheme of things, is it really so important to be totally honest with all my friends? I am sure they aren’t sharing all the intimate details of their lives with me. Everyone has secrets they share with only select people. These groups of friends are the best to share happiness with, have fun together, party, and socialize for more opportunities. You don't become frustrated or hurt if they leave you, you learn from interacting with them; make you more mature and more experienced. More importantly, some of your soul mates are hiding inside this group, within time, they will stand out and become friends of lifetime.

Everyone needs friends. We are social animals who need contact with other people to make our lives worthwhile. Whether you have one or one thousand, friends are the foundations on which we build our lives. They keep us strong and prop us up when we are weak. They make us laugh when we are sad and give us someone to share our happiness with. Few things in life have more value than having good friends. Except perhaps being one yourself.